Friday, October 16, 2009

Dear John,

I am writing this letter to inform you that I think it's time we call things quits. Trust me, it's not you, it's me! You haven't changed a bit, I just have different needs at the moment. I'm sure you've noticed that my visits to you lately have been far less frequent. In the first several months I used to come to you many times a day, even many times an hour some days, but now it's just a couple of times a week. In the beginning you were the only one who could truly understand me. No one else would welcome me with all of my "baggage" into their bowl at any time of day or night no questions asked. I spent many nights curled up on the floor next to your strong, supportive base knowing that it was pointless returning to bed only to run back to you with hardly a moment's notice. The truth is that I'm finally able to venture back into the real world. At last I can give my children and husband hugs & kisses again. I can handle most smells and tastes without feeling the need to run back into your cool, porcelain embrace. I will always remember our time together, however I can't say that they will be fond memories. Again, not because of anything you did wrong, just because of the circumstances surrounding our time together. I'm sure I'll be back for visits every now and again, but for the most part we are over. Please don't try to stop me as I am very excited about this new stage in my life. I wish you well and promise to come back once a week to keep you sparkling clean (I know how important this is to you) so you can perform at your best. Good luck in your future encounters.


Sincerely,
Hollie

24 comments:

Melanie said...

lol is this an ode to feeling better, or to being sick and tired of being sick and tired? cute :)

Heather said...

It's about time. I know that for me, when I FINALLY left dear old John, it was taking a step in the right direction. I know at times it can be scary, he's sort of like your "back up" guy, you know if you start feeling that special "feeling" you can count on him, but I KNOW you can do it. You don't need him anymore! Your relationship was SO one sided. You kept giving and giving and giving, even when you thought you had NO more to give, and he never gave anything in return, but BELIEVE YOU ME, that is a VERY good thing. You don't want what that dirty old good for nothing has to offer! I am in full support of your descision, and if you start to feel weak and lonely and start thinking that maybe he wasn't so bad, I'm only a phone call away! Do not go back to him, you can do better! You deserve better. Your family deserves better!

Jennifer Richins said...

My goodness that was quite the long affair you had with John. Glad to hear you're feeling better.

RC said...

Poor John, and after all the crap he took from you.

You crack me up, too funny, both you girls I have such funny, witty daughters.

Glad you are finally starting feel better though, geez it is about time huh!

Elissa said...

Hey Hollie! I'm crashing your blog to say that this is hysterical! So funny. I'm glad you're feeling better!

Lindsay said...

Hey Hollie! I'm glad you found my blog... Thanks for the comment. Love your post... so funny! Whenever I'm feeling sick and nauseous, I will think of you! I can't believe you've been so sick. How awful. I'm glad things are getting better for you though- You are a trooper!

Julander Family said...

You are hilarious! And obviously it runs in the family. I love you Hollie! You crack me up. I'm so glad you found my blog. I'll check yours often for some entertainment! Thanks for the laugh, I wish I were that funny. Although, I might show you some break dancin moves, that would get you laughin in a hurry!

Cami said...

Hey there! I'm glad you found my blog.

I knew you were sick in the beginning, but I had no idea it lasted so long! I'm so sorry! I'm glad to hear you're (finally) feeling better.

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