Tony

I met a man a couple of Sundays ago who unknowingly taught me a very valuable lesson.

Urban was fussing during Sacrament so I was walking him through the halls at church when a man came walking in through the back doors.

"Who runs this ship?" he asked me in a gruff voice.

He was dressed in raggedy clothes and had scruffy facial hair. He smelled so strongly of cigarettes that it almost took my breath away. I explained to him that our Bishop is in charge but that he was in the middle of a meeting at the moment. I asked him if there was anything I could do for him. He went on talking to me for about 15 minutes or so. He told me that he was a hobo (his words, not mine) and that he travels around with a friend of his and their dog. He said that they usually hop trains to get to where they're going, but since it was raining so heavily the trains weren't running so they had nowhere to go. He didn't know how long they were going to be stranded here but he wanted to talk to the bishop about possibly getting a little something for a few meals. They had already gone to a local pet store and someone was nice enough to give them a bag of dog food.

I let him know that our meeting was supposed to be over in about 20 minutes and at that time I could ask the Bishop to come speak with him. He said he would appreciate it then continued to tell a little bit more about his life. He told me that about 10 years ago his wife & son were murdered by a 14 year old boy. It was at that time that he became homeless. He said he just gave up, he didn't care any more. He realized that it wasn't the material things that mattered. Then Tony looked me in the eye and said "this is going to sound bad, but in some weird way that happening was kind of a blessing because it was then that I found God. I can't say that I knew Him before that." I was speechless and trying to choke back tears. What a tragedy this man lived through and look what he got out of it. In many people's eyes it would appear that he's worthless and went in the opposite direction from what he should have. But in his own eyes he came out a better person and he was as happy as he could be considering what happened. He went on to ask me why it is that people don't like homeless people? He said that they don't steal, kill or try to take people's jobs. He said they just keep to themselves and try to survive yet everyone always looks down on them. He told me that sadly it was usually the "religious ones, people with crosses or fish signs (sorry, I don't know what those things are called) on their cars that turn the other way and pretend not to see him holding his sign". I wasn't quite sure how to respond to him. I told him that people usually aren't comfortable with what they're not familiar with and being homeless is something most people can't relate to.

To make a long story short, I went back to sacrament meeting and waited for it to be over so I could go talk to our bishop. Our closing hymn happened to be "Because I Have Been Given Much" and that was just too much for me to handle. I started bawling. I felt like such a fool but I just couldn't help it. I felt so overwhelmed with emotions of gratitude for all that I have and of sorrow for this homeless man I just encountered. I couldn't pull myself together. I cried all through the song and during the closing prayer and all the way up to talk to the bishop. Luckily Jared translated for me since I was crying so hard I couldn't really even breathe, much less talk. Our bishop was very sympathetic but said unfortunately since it was Sunday none of the church's facilities were open and since they don't just hand out money all he could do was refer the man to a local shelter.

I felt so bad. I didn't know what to do. I asked Jared what he thought we could do to help this man. He said that since we had just paid our last little bit of money to tithing there wasn't much we could do. Well, of course I was sobbing the whole way home so as we pulled into our driveway Jared said "let's go inside and fix Tony and his friend some food and I'll bring it back to him". I was so excited to do this. So we made a bunch of sandwiches and threw some snacks and a gallon of water into a bag and Jared drove it back down to the church. Of course by the time he got there Tony was no longer there, but Jared drove around the block a little ways and found him standing on a corner with his sign. He drove up to him and explained that his wife was the one talking to him at the church. He was so very grateful and appreciative for the food we had prepared for him but said he was disappointed in the church for not doing more to help. This made me so very sad because our church is so giving and charitable. I had understood where the bishop was coming from but apparently Tony did not. Hopefully our little gesture shed a little light onto the true spirit and kindness our church possesses.

I hate how emotional I get sometimes but I just can't help it in certain situations. I am just overtaken by such strong feelings. I'm pretty sure my bishop thinks I'm a nut. The next 2 times he saw me after that Sunday he came up to ask me how I was doing and make sure I was okay while assuring me that things like that used to really bother him too but it happens so often now that he kind of got used to it.

Anyway, I know this is a lengthy post, but I also wanted to attach the lyrics to the wonderful hymn that helped me to feel the Spirit so strongly.

Because I have been given much, I too must give
Because of thy great bounty, Lord, each day I live
I shall divide my gifts from thee With ev'ry brother that I see
Who has the need of help from me.

Because I have been sheltered, fed by thy good care,
I cannot see another's lack and I not share
My glowing fire, my loaf of bread, My roof's safe shelter overhead,
That he too may be comforted.

Because I have been blessed by thy great love, dear Lord,
I'll share thy love again, according to thy word.
I shall give love to those in need; I'll show that love by word and deed:
Thus shall my thanks be thanks indeed.

I realized that it's so easy for me to take things for granted. It's so easy for me to focus on the things that I don't have and that I want rather than be thankful for all that I do have which is truly so much more than I need. I need to kneel in prayer daily, even several times daily, and express heartfelt gratitude to my Heavenly Father.

I realized that I need to do more for others who may not be so blessed with adequate shelter or food supply or the same opportunities as me. I want to volunteer and help those in my community who may be less fortunate and be a good example to my children.

I was reminded that I should never judge others no matter what because I never know their circumstances or what they've been through. Even if I do learn of their story I still shouldn't judge because everything effects everyone differently.

I learned that love, something that takes absolutely nothing away from me or my family in any way, is also something that needs to be shared. I learned that love can be shown and shared in so many different ways. Even if it's just lending an ear to a lonely stranger who has a story to tell.

Please don't think I'm just trying to pat myself on the back by sharing this story. That is not the case at all, in fact I wish there was so much more I could do. It was really just a wonderful, spiritual learning experience for me so I thought I would share. In reality Tony did so much more for me than we did for him.

Thank you Tony. May peace, safety and health accompany you during your travels.

(All right, so I didn't make this a short story at all. Thanks for hanging in there.)